Anyhooooo…I just wanted to say to ekish up there (who may never get to read this comment) that WE ARE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

I used to get comments like that all the time, and still do occasionally – I’m not angry, but people see me as angry, I’m not intending to be rude but people take my directness as rudeness. It can be pretty painful to be accused of having bad intentions and being intentionally rude. It’s taken me a long time to learn how to see “me” from the perspective of other people and even longer to “buy in” to the value of actually changing my behavior. I think that living in Asia is part of made me want to make those changes – less about ME, more about OTHERS.

Still, it’s hard, though and I totally empathize with the previous commentator.

You know, this reminds me how a lot of people tend to point out that I’m rude or angry towards them when I felt no anger and I didn’t think I was being rude. I didn’t quite understand why, until I realized people tend to confuse directness with rudeness and anger.

I never raise my voice, but I do have a tendancy to be honest… Somtimes, I’ve been told to the point of cruelty .
My case, observing what is as-is wasn’t enough. I had to learn to express what I see correctly. Both are important in understanding the world.
But I’m working on it. As you said, it’s a life long process.

Buddhism has certainly provided some middle ground for me to work with. And I certainly do appreciate the nuances I would have completely missed without it.