As for zen, meditation is a common practice in Buddhism, but in the strict, stylized sense you see in Zen, that’s the exception, not the norm. Not necessarily wrong though either, since there’s a lot under the surface, but Buddhism is kind of broad, and there’s different practices to fit people of different dispositions. Meditation-oriented practices work well for some people (I’d encourage even a little bit of meditation from time to time as it’s a nice tool), but strict practices along those lines are not for everyone.

I think I might understand your wife though.
Your Religion is meant to be something you do as part of your core being, it isn’t something you put on of a Sunday or change when fashions dictate, or dabble in.

Quite true. I think what she was getting at wasn’t just Buddhism, but the way we like to fixate on something new and different and exotic, but when it loses its allure (i.e. gets boring) we don’t take it seriously anymore. I’ve been fascinated with it for a long time, and my wife had a kind of re-awakening when she got older, so I don’t think it’s wrong to develop an interest and appreciation of a religion, but I think some people stop there and just get fixated on the external trappings, rather than internalizing their meaning. The religion “market” definitely feeds on this, and I admit I’ve been a happy customer in the past. Over the years, I stopped caring so much.

I guess it was one of those “you had to be there” conversations. I just thought it was cool, and it reminded me what the priorities of religion are (kindness toward others, unselfishness, letting go of material life, etc).

I wonder what the fundamentals of Buddhism are. What is at the core when you strip away the ritual, symbolism, statues and mysticism? Zen?

Zen is just one sect in Japanese Buddhism, and it’s not terribly original in its approach either. Somehow Zen has been kind of re-branded in Western culture as a more “pure” form of Buddhism, but I think that’s just a cultural judgment.

But in any case, you ask a really good question, and if you ask 10 different Buddhists, you might get 10 different answers. Similar, but somewhat different.

Some folks like to rely on the Four Noble Truths, but these are mostly prominent in Theravada, South East Asian Buddhism. In Mahayana, or East Asian Buddhism, the Four Dharma Seals are more prominent.

For my part, I would distill Buddhism this way:

1) All phenomena (including thought and self-identity) are impermanent. This is neither good nor bad. Good days follow bad, bad days follow good. Everything is constantly in a state of change. A bad person can change into good.

2) All phenomena are inter-dependent, in that they cannot exist separate for any other phenomena. When you speak a kind word, it benefits all things in some way, and when someone suffers, you suffer in some way.

3) Similar to above, thought and action lead to consequences in the future for yourself and others. If not in this life, it will mold another life to come.

The Heart Sutra, although not an original sermon of the Buddha, is a condensed form of these teachings, and pretty profound, but requires some study. Thich Nhat Hanh’s commentaries on the sutra are quite good and worth a read.

Why not be fascinated with religion and want to explore it. with life for that matter. rather than let it fade into the mundane and the everyday. And if you find the joy in it I suppose it’s natural to want to share it.
(Preferably on an intellectual level. While I have great admiration for people I see that have a personal joy and cheerful outlook due to their beliefs, proselytising happy-clappy god botherers tend to get on my wick. There may well be a contradiction there.)

I wonder what the fundamentals of Buddhism are. What is at the core when you strip away the ritual, symbolism, statues and mysticism?
Zen?