Comments on: A Brief Look at Funerals in Japan

By: Doug 陀愚

Doug 陀愚 — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 16:40:49 +0000

Hi guys,

Wonderful comments all. I wish I had more time, but let me reply a little if I can:

Johnl: I totally forgot to mention Ohigan (ironic since I just wrote about it), good catch. I didn’t know about the practice of upright coffins, but it vaguely reminds me of the old medieval practice where Buddhist monks would seal themselves in caves and even be embalmed upright, hands in gassho. Maybe not related, but just curious.

Robert: Thanks very much for the story. Some of what you said reminds me of our dog who passed away here in the US shortly after the baby was born. We had him cremated at the vet, but my wife didn’t want to scatter the ashes, so he sits still near our home-made butsudan, and still is kind of part of the family. Sounds more cultural to me.

Thanks guys, definitely appreciate the feedback.

By: Robert

Robert — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 15:50:29 +0000

From my own experiences, the funeral happens very quickly. Possibly because of how the body is stored. So with my father-in-law the wake (for want of a better word) happened the day/night after death with the funeral the next day. This made it hard for us to travel in time for the funeral. In fact we missed it, but arrived in time for a funeral meal and what turned out to be the first memorial service I believe. (For me this was a small mercy as I had no great desire to be part of having to fill the urn)
There were two traditions worthy of note.
At the wake the mourners give gifts of money. Preferably it should be with old used bills. Ideally in a special envelope with the givers name and address written in a watered down ink. The address is important so the family knows who it is from and can give a gift in return. I can’t remember now but the amount might be on it as well. Although the funeral home has records we spent days sorting out who gave how much to make sure appropriate presents were bought. The idea of a gift is a bit strange but it’s actually nice to have a practical memento like that.
There is also a family group photograph taken very similar to a wedding.
The remains were taken home, in a small box wrapped in a white furoshiki, to a temporary butsudan. There was also a plaque of his (new) name. We went shopping for a butsudan later in the week. We haven’t been able to return to Japan yet so I am not sure when the remains were interred, it certainly wasn’t soon after the funeral. For the memorial services the ashes and a framed photo were taken to the temple. My in-laws were a bit shocked at the western practice of burial of the body then leaving it there.
The placing of the temporary butsudan was important and furniture had to be moved about. Also as someone was sleeping in the room above, it was felt that a kanji character for cloud 雲 should be fixed to the ceiling over the temporary butsudan.
Also of interest to me was my wife buying a present of sweets for her father on the journey back for the funeral. This was placed on the butsudan, then removed and eaten a day later.
I don’t know if it was cultural factors or the end of a longish illness but the family was very matter of fact about it all and it seemed more part of family life because the remains were in the home and they talked to him still.
My wifes maternal grandmother had a butsudan for her husband which she would spend part of the day just sitting in front of with the doors open. ( Apart from being from a different sect, I’m not sure what the traditions are in “sharing” the butsudan. I’d expect it to go through a male line and part of the duties of the eldest son. )

By: johnl

johnl — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 11:52:08 +0000

In some cases, families will call a priest to conduct memorial services at the home Buddhist altar every month on the day of death of a particular family member. In a more general sense, people will request such services at O Higan, the fall and spring equinoxes, which are memorial days, and also national holidays. Many people visit their family cemetery plot at these times for observances, cleaning, and even a cup of sake or two.

By: johnl

johnl — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 11:43:03 +0000

Unfortunately, I am more familiar with Japanese funerals than I would like to be. AFAIK cremation is not so strictly associated with Buddhism in Japan. In the old days, lots of people were buried in the earth–the traditional way is to use a barrel-shaped coffin, where the deceased is in an upright fetal position (or seiza?). The government began encouraging cremation to use land more ‘economically.’ (In the Meiji period? I don’t really know.) For those who have in inordinate interest in such things (say, viewers of ‘Six Feet Under’) we should note that embalming is very unusual in Japan. The body is usually chilled with dry ice for the remaining days in ‘this world.’ If there is a significant amount of time before the cremation, the funeral director will bring new dry ice (wrapped in towels and placed in the coffin) every day or so. (sorry if this is too graphic…)