I think you hit upon good point. Living in the US it’s easy to forget what it’s like to be a foreigner. But through my wife I learned that Westerners have ways of being condescending too. It’s just that we don’t notice until we live somewhere else.

My experience when I offer my terrible Japanese to Japanese people, however, is that they don’t express any such praise at all; they just struggle to figure out what I’m trying to say, I guess. I think the tendency among many Japanese people these days is to simply expect that even gaijin will address them in Japanese, and if they can’t, or do it badly, that’s the gaijins’ problem. This is more like Americans’ attitude: of course everyone speaks English, and if they can’t, too bad.

Yeah I’ve heard that one before and, yes, it’s probably flattery. :-p My wife though told me in English, not Japanese (I think) and after 13 years of being together she’s pretty straight with me.

The 「日本語上手ですね」comments are kind of annoying at times (it sounds a bit condescending even if they don’t intend it), but I try to remind myself that’s it just a matter of protocol and to just move on. I’ve been told that if one’s Japanese gets good enough, people will stop saying that and talk to you normally, but clearly I have a long way to go (and I am not getting any younger).

Another factoid: chopsticks used to be just one piece, a long flexible stick, maybe a willow branch or something, bent into an elongated U. So those beginner chopsticks are recapitulating their development.