Mulan and My Daughter

My daughter loves Disney Princesses as you can see:

This is my daughter and I playing with Disney Princess figurines together. Her favorite princess changes from time to time, though lately it is Princess Aurora (e.g. Sleeping Beauty) But among my daughter’s others favorites is Mulan. Recently, she told me she wants to dress up like Mulan too.¹

Lately it got me thinking about my daughter who is both White-American and Japanese. In a way, she represents the best of both worlds (as her father, I think so at least), but also she represents something exotic and different too. I wonder how she will learn to live with her bi-racial identity. Women who are bi-racial like her are exotic and attractive, but I think that can be a blessing and curse. I am proud that she is a pretty girl, but i don’t want men to treat her like a sex-object because she looks exotic. I want people to treat her as a person, and not just based on her appearance.

But also I wonder how she will identify herself over time. Which culture will become the basis of her sense of self? It depends a lot on individual circumstances. It’s too complicated for me to predict it, but it’s something I wonder about often. I want her to develop a healthy appreciation of both cultures though, so all I can do for now is try to foster an appreciation of both. I want her to have role-models from both cultures as much as possible.

But I also worry about her being rejected by either or both cultures because she’s different. It will be hard for her no matter where she grows up, but I hope that I can be a good role model for her, and that she learns from the Buddha-Dharma too. As a mature woman someday, I hope she will appreciate the meaning of the Buddha’s words “this is not me, this is not who I am“.

Until then, my wife and I can only do the best we can:

Namu Shaka Nyorai

P.S. As I post this she is wearing new Mulan pajamas. Mulan is not as popular as other Disney princesses so we were happy to find them.

P.P.S. Second photo was taken by me one morning while dialing into a meeting from home. Daughter wanted to be with Daddy so she sat on my shoulders while I ran the meeting by phone.

¹ True to being 4 years old, after writing this post now she wants to dress as Rapunzel and Snow White.