Teaching children reverence in Buddhism

Posted: February 28, 2008 | Author: Doug | Filed under: Buddhism, Family, Jodo Shinshu, Religion | Leave a comment »

This is my daughter, “Baby”. I took this photo Sunday night after the Hoon-ko Service* this week. She likes to play with the Buddhist rosaries (o-nenju お念珠 in Japanese) we have around the house. Thankfully, most are well-made and can take a good beating from a one-year-old. She likes to chew on them as well, as it helps relieve the itching from teething. I am not sure if this is disrespectful to the rosary, but given that it makes Baby happy and helps with teething, I think it’s for the better.

We’ve been teaching Baby how to do gassho, which is a gesture of respect in Buddhism where we put the hands together close to the heart. We use the Japanese phrase namu namu (南無 南無) when teaching her how to do it. It literally means “hail, hail” or “praise, praise”, but is meant as a gesture of gratitude and respect. In Japanese Buddhism you see/hear phrases like:

• Namu amida butsu – Praise to Amida Buddha
• Namu myoho renge kyo – Praise to the Lotus Sutra
• Namu kanzeon bosatsu – Praise to Kannon Bodhisattva

…as part of Buddhist practice. Being a Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, I say stuff like this all the time. Originally the word namu comes from the Sanskrit word namas, which has similar meaning. Modern day Hindi language, derived from Sanskrit, uses the formal greeting of namaste (नमस्ते), or “homage to you” by the way.

When I visited Japan in 2005, we visited my wife’s friend, whose family are practicing Shingon Buddhists. In Japan, before eating you are supposed to say itadakimasu (いただきます), which is a very humble form of the word “I am receiving”. In effect, you’re saying grace, Buddhist-style. So, my wife’s friend would tell her three-year old to namu namu, or to put her hands together and give thanks. The little girl promptly put her hands together and in her tiny voice said “itadakimasu”. It was really touching to see.

So, with that in mind, we teach the same wholesome habit to Baby as well. Baby is one year old, not three, so she still doesn’t really understand it yet. However, Sunday night she surprised me by draping the rosary over her arm, and waving it around, so I had to take a picture. She’s clearly learning good habits from us, and that’s what makes good parenting so important. Children need good influences or they will have a much harder time in life.

It’s hard for many Western Buddhists, especially those with kids, to know how to raise them as Buddhist. It’s hard too since a lot of people approach Buddhist from an intellectual/philosophical point of view. I am lucky because my wife comes from a Buddhist culture, so I learn a lot of this through her beyond the philosophical side. But for most people who don’t have Asian spouses, how do you develop a Buddhist-family lifestyle?

I think the key is to promote positive values to your kids:

• Respect for others, your parents, teachers, etc.
• Humility and gratitude knowing we depend on others for what we have. Who makes your food for example?
• Kindness, kindness, kindness! In Buddhism, we toss around the word “compassion” a lot, but that’s too abstract for kids. Kindness on the other hand, is a lot easier to convey and just as good.
• Plenty of research shows that kids like routine, so taking them to a Buddhist service regularly, or having a home routine is good. Meditation retreats on the other hand are a bad idea. Most are not suitable for children anyways.
• Be a good example for your kids. My wife and I are pretty strict about not swearing or yelling in front of the kids. Sometimes we make mistakes, but we really try.

You get the idea. Most of this stuff is good parenting advice you can apply to any child, Buddhist or not, but the routine with namu namu and such is something that kids can understand, and helps convey difficult Buddhist concepts in simple terms. Raising kids is a lot of fun, especially watching them grow into adults who will carry happy memories of their childhood for the rest of their lives.

Namo Amida Butsu

* – Hoon-ko (報恩講) is the yearly service in Jodo Shinshu Buddhism where we honor the passing of our founder, Shinran.

** – The more neutral word would be moraemasu (もらえます), and is used in more formal speech, not humble speech.

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