B00ddhism iz the hard!!!11

Recently I was thinking about how Buddhism has to keep up with the times, and I was musing how to do that. So then I thought, “well if Buddhist texts were translated into l33tspeak, then Buddhism could really speak to the younger, Internet-saavy generation”.

In my younger days when I use to do more network security consulting for previous jobs, I remember studying hacker methodologies and such, and I got reasonably good at l33tspeak. It’s a kind of hacker short-hand language, especially used by hackers from non-English speaking cultures. However, only hacker wannabes typically use it.

For example, here’s a regular sentence:

I am a hacker

But when translated into l33tspeak:

I @M 4 h4X0R

…among many possible variations of spelling. L33tspeak has few rules, other than substituting letters for numbers and symbols, plus a few vocab words that every nerd knows: pr0n (porn), newb (a newbie), etc, etc.

So without further ado, here’s a short sutra from the Pali Canon called the Samadhi Sutta (SN 36) in l33tspeak:

+hERE 4R3, 0 M0NK$, THE53 THR3e FE3lIn95: PLe@5@nT FeeL1N95, P41nFUL PHe3LIn95, @Nd ne1+HER-P@InpHuL-N0R-Ple454n+ Ph3EL1n9$.”4 Di5cIPL3 0PH Teh 8uddH4, miNDFuL, ClearLy c0MPREh3Nd1Ng, Wi+H hIS MINd C0lL3c+3D, He kNoW$ +he pHEeLIN95 @Nd +HeIr OR1G1N, KN0W5 Wh3Re8Y Th3y cea53 4Nd kNoW$ +hE Pa+h +H4T T0 t3h end1n9 oPH F3El1NG$ Le@D. 4nD WhEn tEH 3ND oph ph33lINg5 h3 h45 R34CH3D, 5UCH @ M0NK, hi5 tH1r5+1Ng KWEnCh3D, 4+T41n5 n1bb@N4.*

The original translation can be found here.

But then, maybe kids wouldn’t understand it anyways. Buddhism is all about deep thinking, and doesn’t mention anything about how to score a head-shot in Counter-strike, nor does the Buddha offer any advice about the best spot to camp with a sniper rifle, on the Blood Gulch map on Halo 3. Yes, Buddhism is the hard. Is the hard indeed.

Namuamidabu

* – I wonder if badly translating a Buddhist sutra is sixth of the Buddhist Grave Offenses… :p