Suicide

Today I was late to work here in Dublin, Ireland due to a morning appointment, so I took a later train to work than usual. Everything went fine as usual until the train stopped at Sydney Parade station (two stops north from my home in Blackrock). We waited there for an unusually long time, and then Ambulance workers and Garda (Irish Police) arrived on the train platform, walking toward the back of the train. One worker pushed along a stretcher.

Afterwards, we were asked to get off the train and leave the station. There were a lot of Garda and medical staff there, but they couldn’t tell us anything. I remember one man getting very surly as he wanted to know why the train stopped, and refused to get off. Later, as I took a taxi to work, I found out from the driver, who had been stopped by the Garda on the way to pick me up, that someone had jumped in front of the train, committing suicide. The story has already made breaking news on the Irish Times. This happened less than 2 hours ago.

It’s a very tragic and almost surreal experience. I found myself thinking of that person’s last moments of life as he jumped in front of a speeding train, and the last seconds as the wheels came crushing upon him. What was he thinking in those moments? Did he suddenly regret his choice? Did he somehow feel a sense of relief or clarity of thought? What motivated him to end his life so abruptly? I will never know the answer to these questions, but after what happened today, it really makes me appreciate life and to value each moment.

Even if one lives a long life, life is still fragile and fleeting, and not worth squandering. Life is very tenuous, but as I wrote in my last post, each life is a very unique and amazing thing, not to be repeated again. An incident like this also reminds me that just around our neighborhoods, there are a lot of people who are suffering. If we can’t help those far away, perhaps we can be a light for others in our neighborhood.

Namuamidabu

P.S. I feel especially bad for the train engineer who had to witness, and was probably powerless to stop it. I am told that this happens once or twice a year in Ireland, and the engineer usually gets a few months off at least. My prayers are with him and for the Garda and Medical staff.